How long is long enough to grieve? Some say a year - then enough- move on.

Why?

This makes me quite sad.

Losing a Parent or a Friend - damn it- losing My Mother Margaret and Susie- one of the first people to welcome me to Tunbridge Wells has been devastating.

If someone wonderful has loved you and you have loved them for longer than a year- or has had a impact greater than a year- then why is the year mark so relevant?

Well, I would say never is long enough.

It doesn't mean all sack cloth and ashes.

It does mean that that this person's life is wonderful and has made a mark worth celebrating or recognising in someway.

Molly Parkin on Dessert Island Discs- said -She was told at Addicts Anoymous that ' Love was a verb and not a noun' http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/features/desert-island-discs

So true- so we do Love and Love can take many forms and actions. Maybe I am addicted to grieving. But I feel that the loss I have experienced in the last 3 years has been so monumental and so life changing that it shakes my very core.


In one way this is why my £1,000 Challenge http://breakthrough.org.uk/get_involved/raise_money/1000_challenge/,   Race for Life www.raceforlife.org and the Hospice Moonwalk www.hospiceintheweald.org.uk is so important to me.

You can run in silence- because run or power walk - no-one sees the silent scream. You become invisible - a stranger walking the streets around town- tied into their own personal Ipod existence.
These are the times I can pause and reflect,in a safe place. Tears can flow unchecked in a glorious sea of pink. An effervescent bubble of glowing frivolous feminity that conceals a broken heart.

Email is wonderful- the voices from the past stored in never to be deleted files with their own journeys in a virtual diary. As powerful as the voice of the written word to display the character of the person physically gone .

I found this email from 2006-'Judi and I went to the races the day before she went home and we bet on a horse called Cally Victory, it came 3rd and won us $4 (2 pounds!)'

My dear friend this was a race I didn't know I was taking part in- but you did. I couldn't win it for you. But I found my own races and walks where I could take part and I could achieve a result- no matter how small.

The old adage is a true one- It is the taking part that counts.

Unknowingly and on reflection, your words and your life together with the loss of my Mother have propelled me to a new course in my life. Charity, donation, energy, volunteering,cooking ,walking, running all to raise money and awareness about cancer prevention, research and care for the terminally ill.


You can undertake challenges you thought you never would and ACHIEVE them and then you are left with the What Next?

The WHAT NEXT- is to carry on - the live life to the full and never take for granted that which can be taken away at a moments notice.

Where is this journey to take me next?